-We are live (sort of) from Detroit Michigan…

-Up first is Matt Hardy vs. Jack Thwagger for the ECW title.

-Stiff has hell right hand from Hardy.

-Matt Striker is over-analysing.

-Hardy almost lawn-darts his head on a moonsault.

-Swagger wins after a gun-wrench powerbomb. Decent match.

-Next up is Melina vs. Womans Champion Beth Phoenix.

-Fans chanting for Santino.

-Beth kicked Melina in the back of the head with her own foot. Awesome.

-Melina pins Beth with a really cool sunset flip to win the title. Glaring errors in the match but it wasn’t awful.

-Up next is JBL and his ‘employee’ Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena for the World Championship.

-At least there is a little drama as to what Michaels is going to do because the match sucks.

-HBK superkicks both JBL and Cena and then covers JBL on the champ and walks away.

-Referee hits the ring and counts but Cena kicks out at 2.

-Cena hits the FU and gets the pin to retain.

-Up next is Jeff Hardy defending the WWE Title vs. Edge.

-Vickie says this is a no dq match, Edge is accompanied by Chavo.

-You can’t jump off a ladder sideways!! When will people learn….

-The Matt Hardy heel turn begins at this show, he hits his brother with a chair leading to Edge pinning Jeff to win the title.

-Time for the fuckin’ Rumble!!!!

-Entrant #1 is Rey Misterio, #2 John Morrison.

-Rey and Morrison go hard, good shit. Carlito is #3.

-MVP is #4.

-#5 is Khali.

-Best work of the entire show has been the first 5 or 6 minutes of the Rumble.

-Out next is Kozlov.

-And he eliminates Khali! And then eliminates MVP and Carlito.

-Next entry is #7 HHH.

-And HHH eliminates Kozlov.

-#8 is Randal Kendal Orton.

-#9 is JTG.

-#10 is Ted DiBiase.

-#11 is Jericho.

-#12 is Mike Knox. Yay.

-#13 is The Miz… And he’s AWESOME!

-HHH eliminates Miz and Morrison.

-#14 is Finlay.

-The half-way point #15 is Cody Rhodes.

-Just took a phone call and missed a whole bunch of shit.

-Shelton Benjamin is #20.

-Regal is #21.

-Kofi is Jamaaican at #22.

-Kane is #23.

-WHATS UP! Is # 24.

-#25 is Rob Van Dam. A nice one shot surprise.

-#26 is The Brian Kendrik.

-And he’s out….

-#27 is Dolph Ziggler.

-And he’s out….

-#28 is Santino.

-And he’s out….

-#29 is Hacksaw Jim Duggan!!!

-#30 is Big Show.

-And eliminated Duggan.

-Rey is finally out at 49 minutes.

-Final 4 are Legacy and HHH.

-Orton wins, eliminating HHH as he was taking care of Ted and Cody. Great Rumble match.