WrestleMania is finally tonight and I decided that instead of writing a review on the site I’m going to tweet my thoughts as the show goes on. So if you give a shit, head over to www.twitter.com/bbboris and read it!

Its always fun to go back to the old Coliseum Videos every now and then. Let’s go…

-Mean Gene is our host…

-Match #1 features “Wrestling Superstar” Virgil with Ted DiBiase vs. The Macho Man. Savage is WWF Champion at this point.

-Lots of interference by the Million Dollar Man. Virgil misses a big splash off the top and the tide turns in a big way. But more distraction put Virg back in control. But as Ted tries to buy off Liz, Mach hits the patented axehandle and the big elbow for the win.

-Up next is tag action. The Conquistadors (introduced as “from somewhere in Latin America” vs. The Rockers.

-They’re using a spotlight in the ring which is pretty odd. Lots of double team moves from the Rockers but the Conquistadors take over with the old school ground and pound heat. Hot Tag! To the future HBK which leads to victory with a top rope cross body at the Boston Garden. Good times.

-Next up is the Glamour Girls taking on the Jumping Bomb Angels for the Womens Tag Team Titles (?)

-The Angels were way ahead of their time. Pretty entertaining back and forth match with a clash of styles. Angels retain with a sweet roll up on Judy Martin at the Spectrum in Philly.

-More tag action follows featuring the Shadows vs Jim Powers and Paul Fucking Roma!! The greatest of all the Horsemen… SKIP!

-More tag action with Koko B. Ware and the Blue Blazer vs. Danny Davis and Estrada.

-Owen gets the pin after a splash off the top. Pretty standard job match.

“TNA is like a homeless guy with a meth addiction.” – Grizz

TNA pay per view… Oh god…

-Ladder match was decent. Nothing overly spectacular but everything has been done before a dozen times.

-Ric Flair promo… Why?

-Tara and Daffney was solid. Nothing blow-away though.

-Terry and Magnus was a joke.

-Hardys starter kits. Awesome.

-Ultimate X was a lot of fun. Some innovative stuff from the Guns and Gen me.

-Hey Yo…

-The Nash turn was obvious as fuck and so poorly done.

-The Wolfpac music sounded awfully familiar. Doesn’t Vince own that?

-Moore and Williams was solid. Again, nothing blow away but a solid match.

-Hernandez/Morgan vs. Beer Money was way too long.

-Crowd is dead for Angle and Anderson.

-Angle and Anderson was decent but again too long.

-I can not even begin to explain all the ways the Abyss and AJ match was FUCKING HORRIBLE. A comedy of errors. Complete embarassment for TNA.

-Wow, Domenic couldn’t look more uncomfortable in that ring. It must skip a generation. Aaliyah must be a hell of a worker.

-Oh please let CM Punk come out a ruin this birthday!!

-Yes!! And she cowered behind her dad and everything. Fucking gold!!!!

-Shes crying!! This is fucking awesome!! Sorry Domenic, sis has it and you don’t!

-Best segment in Smackdown history!!

-I would have used the Brooklyn Brawler instead of the local kid.

-Jesus, the Harts don’t even get an entrance anymore…. Oh, time to job to Cryme Tyme again.

-Nevermind. Everyone jobs to the Undertaker.

-Ok, can Tiffany work? Well, not as bad as I thought. Potential.

-WWE Magazine is the #1 sports magazine sold at Wal-Mart. Again proof that you can use stats to prove anything.

-Great build for Punk and Misterio. ‘Mania show stealer?

-It’s the ridiculously expensive Jeri-tron 5000!

-Hey Edge, it’s “dove” not “dived.”

-Jerichos Hilite Reel was everything TNA isn’t. Quick, smart, fun, to the point and makes me wanna buy a ppv. Strong heels, great faces. So good.

-I don’t remember any matches from this show but it built WrestleMania greatly.

-We are live (sort of) from Detroit Michigan…

-Up first is Matt Hardy vs. Jack Thwagger for the ECW title.

-Stiff has hell right hand from Hardy.

-Matt Striker is over-analysing.

-Hardy almost lawn-darts his head on a moonsault.

-Swagger wins after a gun-wrench powerbomb. Decent match.

-Next up is Melina vs. Womans Champion Beth Phoenix.

-Fans chanting for Santino.

-Beth kicked Melina in the back of the head with her own foot. Awesome.

-Melina pins Beth with a really cool sunset flip to win the title. Glaring errors in the match but it wasn’t awful.

-Up next is JBL and his ‘employee’ Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena for the World Championship.

-At least there is a little drama as to what Michaels is going to do because the match sucks.

-HBK superkicks both JBL and Cena and then covers JBL on the champ and walks away.

-Referee hits the ring and counts but Cena kicks out at 2.

-Cena hits the FU and gets the pin to retain.

-Up next is Jeff Hardy defending the WWE Title vs. Edge.

-Vickie says this is a no dq match, Edge is accompanied by Chavo.

-You can’t jump off a ladder sideways!! When will people learn….

-The Matt Hardy heel turn begins at this show, he hits his brother with a chair leading to Edge pinning Jeff to win the title.

-Time for the fuckin’ Rumble!!!!

-Entrant #1 is Rey Misterio, #2 John Morrison.

-Rey and Morrison go hard, good shit. Carlito is #3.

-MVP is #4.

-#5 is Khali.

-Best work of the entire show has been the first 5 or 6 minutes of the Rumble.

-Out next is Kozlov.

-And he eliminates Khali! And then eliminates MVP and Carlito.

-Next entry is #7 HHH.

-And HHH eliminates Kozlov.

-#8 is Randal Kendal Orton.

-#9 is JTG.

-#10 is Ted DiBiase.

-#11 is Jericho.

-#12 is Mike Knox. Yay.

-#13 is The Miz… And he’s AWESOME!

-HHH eliminates Miz and Morrison.

-#14 is Finlay.

-The half-way point #15 is Cody Rhodes.

-Just took a phone call and missed a whole bunch of shit.

-Shelton Benjamin is #20.

-Regal is #21.

-Kofi is Jamaaican at #22.

-Kane is #23.

-WHATS UP! Is # 24.

-#25 is Rob Van Dam. A nice one shot surprise.

-#26 is The Brian Kendrik.

-And he’s out….

-#27 is Dolph Ziggler.

-And he’s out….

-#28 is Santino.

-And he’s out….

-#29 is Hacksaw Jim Duggan!!!

-#30 is Big Show.

-And eliminated Duggan.

-Rey is finally out at 49 minutes.

-Final 4 are Legacy and HHH.

-Orton wins, eliminating HHH as he was taking care of Ted and Cody. Great Rumble match.

-’Taker and Shawns segment was good but too long.

-Divas tag was meh.

-You pulled thread out of your eye, big fuckin’ deal.

-Skip Sheffield and Regal are awesome.

-Orton vs. Legacy got a lot of time. Decent match.

-HHH‘s promo was good.

-One of these days someone I going to bump on a microphone and get fucked up.

-Criss Angel is just taking up a lot of my time….

-Bourne qualifies for MiTB. Something tells me he is going to have a WrestleMania moment.

-Oh Vince, I knew you had something up your sleeve. You’re incorrigable.

-Since when in a gauntlet match can another dude come out whenever the fuck he wants?

-Whats with Mark Henry? We run out of mid-card heels?

-The whole main event segment was brutal.

So this is supposed to be the big one huh… Let’s go to the video tape.

-So the big opening 5 minute hype was because they are going to deliver the match they promised? Big fucking deal.

-Good lord, at least Hogan has enough sense to wear a shirt.

-Here comes Sting…. So much for the big match.

-Sting heels out. Pretty obvious but still I kinda dig it.

-Oh god, they’re gonna wrestle again? Damn.

-Sting manhandles Dixie!! Please let her not become an on-camera talent.

-I do NOT need Brooke fucking Hogan on my tv when I’m watching wrestling. We’ve spent 20 minutes on this, can we move on.

-Kaz/Williams/Daniels was hot. More please.

-Shannon Moore beats up Williams. We’re getting a little saturated with talen in my opinion.

-Beautiful People win the Knockouts tag straps. No mention of who had them before AKA Kong.

-”Keep the chain.” Nice.

-The whole champagne thing with JB and the BP was weird a creepy.

-I won’t lie. Pretty jazzed for RVD.

-…..Who gets owned by Sting in his debut. Sad.

-A few camera and direction glitches here and there.

-Was Nash drunk? What the fuck is Designation X?

-”Hall is wasted.” Great chant.

-The whole Hall/Nash/Pac angle sucks.

-The Anderson/Angle segment was decent but the soldiers shouldn’t have had any contact with Anderson. It looked awful.

-Earl will stop things if they get out of control…. Does it concern anyone that a big angle of this show is that one of the guys in the main event is concerned he is too old and broken down and may need the match stopped?

-The Guns and Gen Me in Ultimate X? That I agree with.

-And the Oscar goes to… Brooke Hogan!

-Jeff Hardy returns after the main event match which didn’t suck as much as I thought.

-You can get with this or you can get with that, you better get with this ‘cuz this is where its at WHAT’S UP!

-Ok, so there seems to be a voting system. No its starting to make some more sense.

-Danielson came off baby as fuck during his vingette.

-Michael Cole will never be as good of a heel as Don West.

-Otunga and Truth with the worst backstage pullapart ever…

-Does Danileson have viatligo? (Sic)

-Regals reaction to Skip Sheffield was priceless.

-The interplay between Sheffield and Regal during their match was interesting. Will make for a fun angle.

-In their segment, did Miz not say Brian and Jericho was next or am I on meth?

-Up first is Misterioso Jr/Rey Bucanero/Ultimo Guerrero vs. Villano V/Villano III/Terrible.

-Spike brainbuster, interesting.

-Tecnicos lose the first fall by DQ after Guerrero removes Villano V’s mask. Rudos pretty much dominated fall 1.

-The Villanos attempt to remove Ultimo Guerreros mask prompting Blue Panther to do a run-in causing a DQ to the Tecnicos. Rudos win 2 falls to 0.

-Main event will see La Sombra/Volador Jr/Mistico take on Heavy Metal/Negro Casas/Atlantis.

-Mistico submits to a backbreaker from Atlantis to give the rudos Fall #1. Fun fall.

-After some awesome dives, Mistico makes Atlastis submit to a fujiwara armbar to win fall 2.

-Rudos win the third fall with a combo submission and pin on Volador and Sombra. Great really fun match.