Our SummerSlam journey begins this week. Let’s go to the video tape.

-First up is Koko B Ware vs. The Big Bossman from the first SummerSlam in 1988.

-Worst big splash off the top ever by BBM.

-BBM wins with a horrible Bossman Slam. Awful.

-Up next is Demolition vs The Hart Foundation from ’90. 2 out of 3 falls.

-The Score had a green screen for like ten minutes so I have no idea what’s happened when we finally join the match.

-The 3 members of Demolition continually pull the ol’ switcheroo until the Road Warriors appear to help out and the Harts get the win.

-Next we see The Honk taking on The Warrior from 1988. Its squashamania, match over in less then a minute. Warrior new IC champ.

-Up next is Rick Rude vs. The Ultimate Maniac (Jesse Ventura, all rights reserved) from SummerSlam 1989.

-Warrior promos are Horri-awful. (Shaquille O’Neal, all right reserved.)

-Always a little weird listening to Tony Schiavone doing WWF shows.

-Some pretty sloppy work towards the end but a fun match regardless. Warrior gets the win with the splash. Makes me wanna crack open the SS box set.

-I hate that they call it the “Land of Extreme.” There isn’t anything exciting about it.

-Paul Burchill just doesn’t do anything for me…

-Kozlov kills jobbers… Again. Ezekial in 5…4…3…

-Jackson looks like Ahmed Johnson v2.0.

-Sheamus is pale as fuck.

-Sheamus and Goldust was decent.

-Zack Ryder and Christian was good. Got a lot of time.

-Someone take the fuckin’ mic from Jeff please…

-I know is say it in every review but god damn do I love seeing Harry and TJ on WWE TV.

-Cryme Tyme and the Harts was very good. Those boys can work!

-I think Show was trying hard not to laugh at Shads wookie impression.

-The Cryme Tyme/Show/Jericho promo was too long.

-Layla almost had a wardrobe malfunction.

-Divas tag match brought the stiffness.

-Divas tag brought the first believable Canadian Destroyer in history.

-Ok, I love CM Punk but I’m gonna get on a soap box for a minute. Why is it that there has been a straight edge angle in every company he’s worked for? Don’t get me wrong, there has been some great stuff, especially in ROH but why does there have to be one. Is it because its easy booking?

-Ok camera crew, let’s not zoom in too much on Mike Knox’s leg drop.

-I have to admit, I thought the whole Dolph Ziggler thing would crash and burn when I first saw it but he is doing well.

-Is Val Venis still under contract?

-Do you think they could turn Rey heel? That could make for some great TV.

-Ziggler/Knox vs. Rey/Finlay was awesome. And a great demonstration of what WWE does and TNA does not.

-Yuck. Babyface John Morrison promos make me ill.

-Morrison and Hardy was very very good. This may be one of the matches that showed that Morrison has arrived as a real player in WWE.
-Punks beatdown at the end of the show made me pop hard!!

-Ooh, a new “Cross the Line” opener.
-The MEM is starting to look like the nWo.

-I think Taz got was screwed by Lashleys debut. He’s old news already.

-Oh this is Impact #200… God help us.

-Angle said Lashley tried to make a name for himself… Fuckers stealing Dalbys shit!!

-Nice of Lashley to dress up and not look like a sack of shit for his speaking debut.

-Lashley says he’s hungry… Fuck! Its “rip off PWA promos” night at the Impact Zone!!

-Here comes Foley to make this promo even fucking longer!

-Hernandez and Joe wasn’t as good as I’d hoped it would be.

-I like Matt Morgans mic work.

-Morgan and AJ was a good big man vs. Not to big man match.

-Hahahaha!! Traci Brooks in H. Double D!! Awesome.

-Don West is still awesome.

-Love the MCMG’s in the crowd with the signs.

-World Elite. I don’t know if I like that name. I do like heel Eric Young though.

-I liked Eric Youngs promo but the head shaving thing was kinda out of left field…

-Can Rob Terry work? Does anyone know anything about this guy?

-I wonder if New Japan sanctioned the title change. I assume so….

-They showed Kazarian 3 times in the comic con promo… Maybe I’m super kayfabe but with him being Suicide, I’d keep his mug off tv period.

-Dr. Stevie is pissed!!

-JESUS CHRIST!!! If you’re gonna do an office beatdown then stay away from the fucking walls so we don’t see that they move like they are made of paper… Because they FUCKING ARE!!!

-Foley wins the Legends belt. Lashley Domi-fuckin-nates!! (Tee hee)

-Shaq is a 15 time NBA MVP? That can’t be right…

-Did Shaq just kiss Jerichos forehead? That’s fucking awesome.

-Beth Phoenix has really dropped off the map since her angle with Santino ended.

-Holy fucking shit its fucking Chris fucking Masters…. Yay….

-Oh its The Brian Kendrik. 5…4…3…

-Ok, I don’t understand HHH not hitting DiBiase… Wouldn’t he then win by dq?

-Oh Chavo, I still think you’re aces buddy.

-Bourne and Swagger was good.

-Jeremy Piven next week. He was great as the part of George in the pilot of “Jerry.”

-Cena and Orton at Summerslam.

-ZZ Top on tour all summer with Aerosmith? Not bloody likely!

-Big Show drools like a pig, its so gross.

-Kind of an anti-climatic main event to get to the Shaq/Show confrontation.

-Regal is a tremendous heel.

-Regal and Christian was decent.

-Evan Bourne and Jamie Noble was fun.

-Kane and Morrison was decent as well. Is Morrison the future of the WWE?

-Decent little show.

-The Embassy against Necro and Redwood was decent. Still hate Redwoods gimmick.

-How can they put Mschif and Nevaeh on TV after the debacle they had a few weeks ago…

-Who does a cross-body off the bottom rope?

-How dare the Embassy interrupt Colts segment!

-Black/Danielson III was awesome.

I believe this is the last of the Cruiserweight ride. Let’s go to the video tape…

-Nice! Match #1 is TAKA vs Sasuke from the IYH ppv in Calgary.

-They did this match the next night on Raw in Edmonton. I feel lucky to have seen Sasuke live.

-Sasuke wins with a double underhook suplex. Great match.

-Up next is Eddy and Rey from Halloween Havoc ’97. One of my favorite matches of all time.

-Rey wins with a hurracanrana off the top. Epic match.

-Finally we have Tajiri and X-Pac unifying the WWE and WCW cruiserweight titles at SummerSlam 2001.

-Decent match. X-Pac wins with the X factor after interference from Albert.

-Next week we will start a SummerSlam retrospective. Interesting.

-Regal is awesome.

-Tatsu is getting the rub.

-Ezekial Jackson murders jobbers.

-Owen throwing socks in a milk crate was more exciting the Tyler Reks and Paul Burchill.

-The Abraham Washington show was anti-climatic.