February 15th:

Caught hell yesterday because you forgot to get your girlfriend a Valentines Day gift? Let the apology note generator beg forgiveness for you. forgot to shovel the walk, empty the trash, consider the feelings of your loved ones? This guy’s got you covered there, too.

http://www.karmafarm.com/formletter.html

When Howard Stern signed on to his satellite radio show Wednesday morning (February 14), he realized it wouldn’t be long before the phone lines at Sirius were all lit up with fans and friends just waiting to ridicule him. And really, why shouldn’t they?

Since the dissolution of the veteran shock jock’s 20-year-long marriage to first wife Alison back in 2000, Stern has repeatedly vowed — with his entire audience as his witnesses — that he would never, ever tie the knot again. At times, he’d even deride his own pals and members of his staff in the wake of their own engagements, advising them against making the same terrible mistake he’d once made.

Well, it seems the 53-year-old King of All Media doesn’t care about making the same mistake twice. Stern revealed Wednesday that he proposed to longtime girlfriend Beth Ostrosky the night before. Stern has been dating Ostrosky, a model 18 years his junior, since 2000; Ostrosky contributed a monthly advice column to the now-defunct FHM magazine and hosts “Filter” on the G4 network.

With his staff expressing their utter disbelief, Stern joked that he’d had Ostrosky’s uterus excised to ensure the couple would not have children. “I see my married friends with children and it seems like absolute torture to me,” said Stern, himself a father of three. Several callers to the show — along with sidekick Artie Lange — blasted Stern for his decision, which prompted the jock to call off the engagement on at least two occasions during the show’s first hour.

“Do you want your Valentine’s Day gift now?” Stern said this morning, recalling how he’d proposed to the woman known to fans as “Beth O.” When the model told Stern she wanted her present early, he instructed her to strip down. Stern said she protested, insisting that she was too “fat” to disrobe. His first thought, he said, was “any girl who looks like that and thinks she’s fat — I’ve got a chance with her.”

When Ostrosky did get naked, Stern said he handed her a 5.2 carat diamond ring. “I love you. You’re everything to me,” Stern recalled saying. “This is so gay. … I’m asking you to spend the rest of your life with me.” Ostrosky said “Yes,” and Stern said the couple made love immediately after; Ostrosky claims she had her “hand up and was looking at my ring the whole time” the two were in bed.

This will be Ostrosky’s first marriage. When asked if the couple had set a date yet, Stern said the actual wedding was something they didn’t want to even think about for now, and that his audience can expect an elongated engagement.

Hey, now: The King of All Media has found his new queen.

Howard Stern—make that Howard A. Stern the shock jock and not the Anna Nicole Smith hanger-on—announced Wednesday that he’s gotten engaged to his longtime girlfriend, Beth Ostrosky.

Stern, 53, said that he popped the question to the 34-year-old model-actress Tuesday night by first asking her another, namely, “Do you want your Valentine’s Day gift now?”
Stern went on to detail the R-rated romantic encounter (in uncensored detail on his Sirius Satellite Radio show, natch), wherein he insisted his betrothed to strip down before he surprised her with the ring.

Ostrosky first protested, Stern claimed, arguing that she was too fat. Stern said he knew then that proposing was the right thing to do, as “any girl who looks like that and thinks she’s fat—I’ve got a chance with her.”

She eventually relented and disrobed, at which point Stern produced a 5.2-carat Richie Winick diamond ring and whispered his own version of sweet nothings in her ear.

“I love you,” he said, per his radio show play-by-play. “You’re everything to me. This is so gay…I’m asking you to spend the rest of your life with me.”

After Ostrosky’s affirmative reply, and the couple’s consummation of the milestone, Stern said he phoned the father of the would-be bride to ask permission for her hand. He agreed, with one caveat: “Never call me Dad.”

Stern, who has repeatedly claimed on his morning radio show that he would never get married again, added that no wedding date has yet been set, but that he anticipates a very long engagement.

It will be the second marriage for Stern and the first for Ostrosky, a Pittsburgh native who ranked as high as 34 on FHM magazine’s list of 100 Sexiest Women. Her credits include small roles in Flirting with Disaster with Ben Stiller and Whipped with Amanda Peet, and she most recently appeared as host of the G4 series Filter.

Stern and Ostrosky met in 2001, a year after Stern separated from his wife of 20 years, Alison.
The couple currently live together in an apartment on Manhattan’s Upper West Side and share custody of Stern’s three daughters from his first marriage.

Shock Jock Howard Stern Engaged
February 14, 2007

HOWARD STERN had a special Valentine’s gift for his girlfriend — a sparkling diamond engagement ring!

The self-proclaimed “Kind of All Media” announced this morning on his Sirius Radio show that he proposed to long-time girlfriend BETH OSTROSKY last night.

Stern was married to his first wife, ALISON, for 20 years. They separated in 1999 and later divorced. He met Ostrosky the following year and they have been a couple ever since. They currently live together in his Upper West Side Manhattan apartment.

This will be Ostrosky’s first marriage.

Stern quickly followed the announcement by saying he is unsure when they will actually marry, and that they expect a very long engagement.

Stern shocks fans with engagement news

Howard Stern shocked listeners this morning when he announced his engagement to longtime girlfriend and former FHM model, Beth Ostrosky.

Since his divorce in 2000 from Alison Berns, his college sweetheart and wife of 21 years, Stern has repeatedly dissed marriage on the air, claiming that he would never wed again.

When his morning radio show launched on Sirius Satellite Network in Jan. 2006, Stern announced that he’d married Ostrosky, then spent the next few hours denying it. “We don’t feel that if we got married it would enhance the experience any more,” he said. “We don’t want to — it up.”

Seems that he’s changed his mind. The 53-year-old local, raised in Roosevelt and Rockville Centre, revealed this morning that he proposed last night with a 5.2 carat diamond ring.

Ostrosky is 19 years younger than Stern. This will be her first marriage.

NEW YORK — Howard Stern is engaged to Beth Ostrosky, the veteran shock jock announced on his radio program this morning.

NEW YORK (AP) — Paula Abdul’s spacy behavior on “American Idol” has prompted many to ponder if there’s a tumbler or two of booze in that red cup on the table in front of her on the Fox talent contest.

February 14th:

A fun Valentine’s Day time-waster. Scroll down the middle of the page and take the love test. Don’t like your evaluation? Just take it again. Almost as addictive as the chocolate you’ll be scarfing down later.

http://www.mentaljokes.com/test.html

Trent Reznor’s band release the follow-up to 2005′s ‘With Teeth’ on April 6.